[sensousacumen]

Your man is addicted. i was. too much of a good thing. just like a real drug, you try more than usual, suddenly you need it all the time just to feel normal. then you need more and more, and harder stuff. with porn, that means, weirder, more bizzare. you hate neglecting your responsibilities, but none of it matters when your 'high.' your man is probably scared by his dependence. talk to him, help him quit.

[tail gunner]

you (anyone) is hooked if they check LL before they check the bank account / cash flow or before they get the important things done.
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jog a while ... write a while ... watch the pretty girls a while !!

[KROCK]

Lemon I'd say he has a problem and is very inconsiderate in regards to the way he leaves evidence around and such. If it bothers you as much as it sounds like it does you are in tight spot. Calling him out on it or even suggesting that he get help may distance you guys even further. Perhaps you need to drop hints that it is getting out hand and see if he acknowledges your subtlety. If that doesn't work and it continues to bother you, you may need to take a more abrasive approach. I wish you luck...
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Don't think too much...no good ever came from it.

[wyliecoyote]

[Venus18]

[wyliecoyote]

[Venus18]

[erotic section]

Lemon, when I first found the world of online porn, I couldn't get enough. I watched in all my spare time and intentionally sought solitude to facilitate the endeavor. I looked up normal stuff, weird stuff, gay, straight, etc. And then, one day, I just stopped. I'd had my fill. Maybe he's just going through a phase...
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Slave to the subtle mastery of few, committed to one

[1randombeauty]

Lemon,

That is the attitude. Any man would love for his wife to take the time to do something "out of the norm."

I try to do that all the time with my stories or suggestions to go into the pantry...opps, did I just say that? Spontaneity is king and will go miles and miles to helping the situation - fuck, it may just spur him into doing something for you in return.

Hang in there, do the next right thing and it will, of course, work out the way it is supposed to.

Talk soon,
1RB

[wyliecoyote]

Looking around...oops...

It's not an addiction ... just a past time.. i'm very enthusiastis about... honest..


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keep passing the open windows

[Lemon's Slave]

Thank you Jonathan Phillips and 1RandomBeauty.
You both had very good advice. I think I will take you up on that pm sometime JP especially interested in that sexual apathy subject matter. I'd hate for him to have such a thing but it would explain a whole lot.

And 1RandomBeauty I am very glad to get a guys honest response on this. No I don't think you are defending him just showing the male prespective. I understand that having a baby and your wifey being pregnant does things to slow the libido for both parties involved, but we've already been through that together.

That and he was kinda like this while dating too, though he admitted that he stopped watching porn at the time to anticipate time with me more when we were dating. Even so there would be days of nothing. I thought at the time he was just being a gentleman and showing me it wasn't all about the sex. Truth is he wasn't always interested. eventually the novelty wore off and he went back to his routine. His excuse is that masterbating builds up his stamina for me later. By the time later rolls around he is alseep on the couch.

Thank you both again for you responses. I have something to go on now. Perhaps part of it is my fault too. I could have a grandparent babysitt for a few hours and try something romantic to spice it up a notch.If that doesn't work then I'll worry. Wish me luck. See you both in the forums!

Love, Lemon's Slave

[1randombeauty]

Lemon,
Although the subject matter is different from what I like, I have seen the Two Girls-One cup stuff, but out of pure interest of what was making my friend laugh so hard - and it was pretty sick. Maybe he just saw it for that reason? Humor? Morbid curiosity?

But you did say some important things that may be leading to his increased need for porn. New child, new pregnancy, changes. All of these things impact a relationship and take a toll on the sex life between couples. When our boys were first born the sex frequency went down because, as you know, you are so fucking tired most of the time.

To be honest, I look at porn frequently and really enjoy Lusty Library. But my sex drive for my wife is the same as always, which is higher than her sex drive. But I get the balance from LL and other porn sites. Can you talk with him about some more balance?

I'm not trying to defend him, just maybe help redirect attention to the reality of the situation. Pre-child fucking is easier. It sounds like you do have an open dialogue and he is not hiding anything, so be happy for that. I do think he should clean up after himself.

I am sorry you are having trouble and asking for help, as you have here, is a great step in the right direction.

As far as it being an addiction, I do not know anything about that and may be a question for a doctor.

The good news is that you have the interests of your kids front of mind - and that is paramount! They deserve the best. And as far as your daughter walking in on him, I think this phase will pass by the time she can walk, let alone know what is going on before he could stop what he is doing.

Best of luck and I am here if you want to chat.

In the meantime, dust off your vibrator and/or dildo and have a great time with yourself!

Best To You,
1RB

[Jonathan_Philips]

Sorry that you have not received a reply to this already Lemon. I blame those damned game posts. All it takes is one visitor to add to them and anything interesting is blasted off into the vaults.

I am sorry to hear about your dilemma. To cut straight to the point I would say your partner does have a problem. Yes almost all men look at porn, but not as frequently as you suggest he does and not to the point where you are neglecting your other half (I do have some experience of this so if you would like to PM me I will discuss it with you in private).

There is a rapidly growing condition called 'sex apathy' (or something similar) among men whereby sexual gratification is so easily found over the internet that they are no longer interested in finding it elsewhere and it can become an obsession.

I would also say that the subject matter he is interested in is a little worrying.

If you didn't have children my solution would be to consider moving on, but, of course, it's really not that simple.

What can I say? It's not normal and I am sorry to hear of your plight.

Best wishes

JP
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To view all of my newest stories please visit:

http://www.jonathanphilipserotica.com

[Lemon's Slave]

Come on now, somebody reply.
Its not so taboo that no one will talk about it, is it?

Don't be scared. I don't bite...Well not hard anyway.
Just a nibble. Oh come on!

You guys don't think I'm one of those freaky religious types or a soccer mom do you??? I swear I'm not goddamn religious and I don't own a tacky van with stickers on it okay!?

Now please, somebody be brave and reply.....Please???

Pretty please with a big whipcream covered bing cherry on top???

[Lemon's Slave]

Fun subject matter

Look I like porn as much as the next guy or gal, but I perfer to share in both watching and the experience. Mutual pleasure sorta thing, and sure now and then I do fly solo to be honest.

I also understand that guys do need to indulge in this sort of thing now and then and it is sexually healthy to do so. I am not a jealous person. I have had threesomes in the past for crying out loud. Enough bragging though.

I think my significtant other may have a problem. He wakes up an hour early for work not to get ready or be punctual, he does so to have a full hour of pleasuring himself before rushing to the office every morning. Sometimes it even makes him 30 minutes late or better.

He seems to think that I don't notice or maybe he just doesn't care. The computer is right next to the bed so its kinda hard not to notice even with the audio off. Plus even if I do manage to sleep through it he leaves behind evidence; his dirty t-shirts thrown under the computer desk, unlabeled DVD's lying around, minimized windows with questionable titles that when opened reveal you guessed it, files and files of downloaded videos, and bringing up positions or erotic ideas that make me wonder where in the heck he got a hankering for that dive off the deep end suddenly. So yeah, duh.

When we actually do watch porn together he seems bored, uninterested, and distracted. We won't watch it together again for a long time after either, there is an ackward distance.

The funny thing is he made me feel bad for having adult toys in the very begining of our reationship. He was way too jealous and was just shocked to think that a nice girl would use such objects. Then out of the blue he started using them on himself. I've lost interest and no longer use them. In fact my whole libido has sort of died on me.

But anyway, I guess guys have their routine time of day to jerk the chain out of comfortability, so maybe that is not so unusual. However he also does it when he gets home from work, not all the time, I'd say like half the time and if I take an afternoon nap there is no question about it, he is going to masterbate to porn.

Now I'm not a bad looking girl and I do try to satisfy his needs, but often by the time he gets around to me he's just too tired. I'd say we do it like maybe once or twice a week on average. Hate to bring up the past but with my ex, we'd have sex atleast once or twice a day on average, so this just ain't flying for me. Plus my ex wasn't really intersted in porn. It wasn't his thing. So maybe part of my problem is culture shock.

This would be fine perhaps if it was just him and myself, we could talk it out, compromise, or I could just leave and let his hands win the battle for attention ( they seem happy together anyway). However, we have a family now and share a 7 month old daughter and another baby is soon on the way. I fear for his embarassment when she is a bit older and walks in on him. At this rate it is just bound to happen. How do I explain sexuality to her without tramatizing her? How will she view her father then? How embarassed will he be? Will he react angrily? Will he be in denile?

Maybe part of this is a sort of jealously due to my body image being shattered by childbearing on some subconcious level, but at the same time I am bi and do enjoy watching sexy girls myself. Yet I tend to be much more descrete, plus have a pretty good imagination and little need for viewing material. Plus I have a sort of respect issue, I can't watch something if it seems way too derogitory or the girl looks like she is in pain and not enjoying herself. And I also realise that the sexy girl on screen is somebody's daughter. I would have thought that becoming a parent he'd realise the same and maybe feel a little guilty like I do. Maybe it takes longer for this to sink in for guys? It sounds dumb but I perfer animae because I know it is all a fantasy and nobody is getting exploited...But that's my own taste.

So to get to the point am I over reacting? Is there a problem? Or is this simply a difference of the sexes? His viewing content sometimes disturbs me as well. Two girls one cup, midgets, trannies and whatnot. Most of the time it is strait (though painful looking) porn, but once in a blue moon it is just plain bizzare like he is seriously bored and seeking the next big thrill.

Sigh...So does anybody, guy, gal, or other have any comments or advice on this? Anybody out there know someone with a true clinically proven porn addiction so that I can tell the difference between normal and unhealthy?

Thanks.