[baby]

[Jingle Bell End]

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.


The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'



And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

[Jingle Bell End]

Wetness wrote

[**MANAGEMENT**]

***The Office Christmas Party***



~~~THURSDAY, 11th DECEMBER From 11am UK onwards~~~

MANAGEMENT would like to once again thank all staff members of Anything Lusty Inc. for their RSVP’s and we would like to remind all Lusty staff that the party will begin today at the above time. We are pleased to invite the company of all outside contractors associated with Anything Lusty. Particular appreciation is given to Nurse Nancy for volunteering her services during the party.

"A few safety reminders based on observations caught on surveillance cameras last year..."

"Please make sure recreational activities do not block corridors, stairways or other areas required to be kept clear for emergency exiting."

1. "In order to prevent slip and fall accidents, please maintain a firm grasp on all heavy objects when lifting."



2. "After using the copier, please put the cover back in its closed position."



3. "Please remember to use an up-and-down motion while handling objects in the stationery cupboard. A side-to-side motion may result in painful paper cuts."



4. "Hard surfaces and alcohol do not mix. Remember to cushion to prevent head injuries. Other people's asses and chests make excellent cushions."



5. "Bar dancing tip: Remember the space available for choreography may be smaller than that available in your kitchen."



Finally, MANAGEMENT will NOT be in attendance, as they will be tied up elsewhere. Departmental Heads will attend, despite hoping to be tied up elsewhere.
_________________

[Int.AffairesRep]

Feliz Navidades a todos y cada uno.


Merry Chrismas à tous sans exception.


From the European Division I bring you all my best wishes for tomorrows Party. I will be checking on each and everyone of you. It will be my pleasure.

[Temp-FOOKME]

I love working for the company, but the bosses keep telling me Temp is short for temptatation and to be tempting is part of my job.

I can only do so much dicktation. Sometimes my sister (FOOKYOU-she is in the avi-can you tell which one is me lol) and I wear our t-shirts that say- STENOGRAPHERS TAKE THEM DOWN FASTER.

Just remember FOOKYOU and FOOKME are prety smart but we aren't TATTOO ARTISTS.

[WETNESS]

[Nurse Nancy]

It is nice to see so many tarts, slappers and wankers showing there naughty bits in the pictures. You lot are going to be alot of work to take care of at the party. As company nurse I have been taking care of a few yanks in my flat for the practice.

See you all at the party!!!

[Jingle Bell End]

Wetness wrote

[Miss No Panties]

Water delivry guy, meet me in the large confrence room and hour and a half after dark.

[Miss No Panties]

Mr. Hankypanky, meet me in the small confrence room after dark.

[Mr. Sparkletts]

Can outside venders come to the party too? Im at you guys's office more than Im at mine since I spend all my time delivering the water and flerting with the girls their.

[Mr Hank E Panky]

[WETNESS]

[Jingle Bell End]

Ohhhhhhhhhh a Christmas Party

I'll be there, looking forward to it

Can I bring some Tinsel & some Baubles