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Contest Submissions: Valentine's Day:
  Roses are Red, Your Balls Are Blue (2/9)  

354 votes
Author: Sarahhh  Published: 2/8/2007  story views: 38984
 


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choker?”

“Yes, I do, Britney.”

“Can you loan it to me for the weekend?”

“Why, are you going to clean our apartment?” Britney, like the rest of us, despised housework, and our place always seemed rather dusty.

“Larry, my new boyfriend, likes to get a little kinky. See these red marks on my wrists and ankles? He tied me to the bed for five hours on our last date. First catsup all over my body. Then mustard. Finally, the mayo. Talk about a dude who likes fur burgers. He told me he has something really special planned this weekend for his valentine girl. I’m going to give him a really big heart on. Over and over. Maybe he’ll cover my body with chocolate and lick it off. Over and over. ”

“Ashley, come here!” I called, knowing she sat in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea and reading a magazine.

She came into the bedroom quickly, thinking something was wrong.

“Okay, you three, what the hell is going on?” I demanded. “You just don’t have dates for the weekend. There is more to this story than you are telling me. What’s up?”

The three of them looked at each other sheepishly and then started to giggle. I fumed.

Britney spoke first. “We are having an orgasm marathon to commemorate our hero, Saint Valentine. Whoever has the most big O’s this weekend wins. Only intercourse induced quim quivering counts. The contest begins at 7:00 PM tonight and ends at 7:00 PM on Sunday. We have clickers to keep track.”

“Really? What does the winner win? And why didn’t you ask me to participate?”

“The winner gets to go first in the shower in the morning,” Ashley replied solemnly.

We fought tooth and nail over the shower. The last in line was always late for class and the next to last didn’t have time to dry and do her hair, so she had to face the world with a wet, stringy mop. Not to mention the lukewarm water if you had the misfortune of being number four.

“We didn’t ask you, Sarah,” Kimberly sighed, “because you don’t have a main squeeze at the moment. It wouldn’t be fair. And you keep saying you don’t like to engage in casual sex. So it appears you won’t be getting any flowers or candy from your valentine. Or any fucking either. ”

“I was drunk when I said that about casual sex,” I whined. “And it was right after I did that dude in the Laundromat after he so generously lent me some fabric softener. But I didn’t cum. He was too . . . uh . . . premature. He said he’s on the basketball team and his nickname is ‘Quick.’ Doh! And I wonder why.”

Kimberly got closer. She looked into my eyes lovingly. Her bottom lip trembled. I thought she would kiss me. But no, she chastised, “You shouldn’t drink in the afternoon, Sarah. I can smell the booze on your breath.”    

But it was too true, what Kimberly had said about my love life. Gary and I had broken up the day before Christmas Day. He told me he had concluded he was gay, and that he and Ben, a muscular dude on the wrestling team, had been trading blow jobs for a couple weeks. And then the anal just happened the night before and they realized they were in love. I cried when Gary told me that Ben could suck cock
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Next Page of: Sex Stories : Contest Submissions : Valentine's Day : Roses are Red, Your Balls Are Blue

 
Vote:
Total Votes: 354
Steamy
(1 vote)
Hot
(2 votes)
Blazing
(3 votes)
Poster Thread
Joletta
Posted: 2009/9/23 13:08  Updated: 2009/9/23 13:08
Virgin
Joined: 2009/6/11
From:
Posts: 5
 Terrific story
I really liked it. WOW. I have to read some more of your stuff. Thanks!
SusieQ27
Posted: 2009/2/16 14:22  Updated: 2009/2/16 14:22
Up and Comer
Joined: 2007/5/10
From:
Posts: 43
 Mmmmm..
....most enjoyable. Made me laugh too, when she couldn't get her hands on a Valentine's lover With a satisfactory conclusion, to be sure.
**teach**
Posted: 2007/11/25 9:39  Updated: 2007/11/25 9:39
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2007/5/19
From:
Posts: 1901
 wow sarah
I loved it. I look forward to finding more of your stories. Please keep them coming. Wonderful.
Pensuwana
Posted: 2007/11/13 11:45  Updated: 2007/11/13 11:45
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2007/1/19
From: In a lustful state of erotic delirium
Posts: 3214
 this is just too cute
wondering if either went to confession after, great story sarahhh
DragonFire
Posted: 2007/6/20 16:40  Updated: 2007/6/20 16:40
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2007/4/16
From: Sadly, Ohio
Posts: 232
 HAHA!!
That was great Sarahh, though I can honestly say I wasn't expecting a priest!
neckblade
Posted: 2007/5/24 22:44  Updated: 2007/5/24 22:44
Flirt
Joined: 2007/5/24
From: Indiana
Posts: 33
 dizamn
Dang...Never in a million years would I have thought to become a priest...untill now!
clitflick
Posted: 2007/5/19 16:31  Updated: 2007/5/19 16:31
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2007/3/29
From: west palm beach
Posts: 156
 Peter, Peter, Priest Eater!
Sarahh, you are one of my fav. writers, here, thtnks for the great mind and graphic details. You inspire me woman! oxo, Clitflick
deeallen19
Posted: 2007/5/13 4:54  Updated: 2007/5/13 4:54
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/9/27
From: Hudson, North Carolina, USA
Posts: 249
 another good one
so wrong yet so very right...good job!
Lee
Posted: 2007/3/22 21:55  Updated: 2007/3/22 21:55
Bookworm
Joined: 2006/10/25
From: Chicago
Posts: 95
 Roses are red your balls are blue
In the name of the father, son, and holy sperit, It looks like we have a w inner! Amen
lwt5203
Posted: 2007/2/23 23:58  Updated: 2007/2/23 23:58
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/23
From: usa
Posts: 1
 we have a winner!
Glad you won, Sarah! This one had it all! VERY HOT!! You are the best! -Len
ramrod_seeker
Posted: 2007/2/20 19:33  Updated: 2007/2/20 19:33
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/4/27
From: Michigan
Posts: 381
 haha
What a great combination of sexy and witty! Loved it!
sailor
Posted: 2007/2/18 7:02  Updated: 2007/2/18 7:02
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2005/12/11
From: East coast USA
Posts: 507
 Yep...
... a bone-a-fide winner.
gaspass
Posted: 2007/2/14 15:51  Updated: 2007/2/14 15:51
Bookworm
Joined: 2007/1/1
From:
Posts: 125
 Re: This is the highest rated story?!!!
Poor Natalie! Hung up with religion and reading [porn. Does she think that cassock-wearers are castrated as young boys? Does she think that Priests ha ve no testosterone levels at puberty? Is she a virgin who can't make a balo gna sanswich for herself? What a shame.....
WarEagle66
Posted: 2007/2/14 10:30  Updated: 2007/2/14 10:30
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/14
From: Steelers Country...but that is everywhere, eh?
Posts: 7
 Long, but worth the effort
Sarah's stories are always long but the fun involved makes them worth the e ffort. She sure has a lot of naughty stuff floating through her head! You n ever know what to expect, 'cept for a bit of wood..he he
Delilah
Posted: 2007/2/13 19:29  Updated: 2007/2/13 19:29
Bookworm
Joined: 2006/2/24
From:
Posts: 91
 Re: Huh?
You should have just copied and pasted what Natalie said. Sarahhh, you need troll repellant.
Jondough
Posted: 2007/2/13 18:51  Updated: 2007/2/13 18:51
Virgin
Joined: 2006/5/8
From: Los Angeles
Posts: 15
 Huh?
Am I missing something? Is a priest who breaks his vows openly and wantonl y...sexy? Or funny? Sad, yes. Pathetic, very possibly. I'm not Catholic , have lots of issues with them as an institution, so I'm not blind to the problems inherent within the system. But this just doesn't even REMOTELY q ualify as "erotica" to me. It never once stimulated my brain, which, forgi ve me if I'm wrong, is the point of this site (Stories for the Sexual Intel lecutal...it's in the frigging site banner, for God's sake). And again, wh en has pedophilia EVER BEEN FUNNY?? EVER? Sadly, I'm clearly in the minor ity here, as miraculously (irony, anyone?) this is the top-rated story. I guess it pays to have a lot of friends on this site. Or drop product-place ment every sentence. Seriously, that is so distracting. You can do better , Sarah -- Jon
Sarahhh
Posted: 2007/2/12 11:11  Updated: 2007/2/12 11:13
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2005/12/3
From: Steelers country
Posts: 300
 Re: This is the highest rated story?!!!
[url=http://www.lustylibrary.com/Sex_Story/3715][img]http://www.lustylibrar y.com/images/read_story.jpg[/img][/url] Dang it, apparently I can't post the promo button for my story here. I'll b e back at your later, Natalie.
Mebtaz
Posted: 2007/2/12 10:50  Updated: 2007/2/12 10:50
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/9
From:
Posts: 1
 Your the best
Sarahh, You are the best hun. Damn thats a sexy story. I love to read everything yo u write. A devoted fan Sean
lyle porter
Posted: 2007/2/12 9:54  Updated: 2007/2/12 9:54
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/12
From:
Posts: 1
 Loved it
As I said in my e-mail to you, i thought this story was great, I loved it. Looking forward to reading more of your stories. Thanks also for introducin g me to this site. X
sinsee
Posted: 2007/2/12 8:08  Updated: 2007/2/12 8:08
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/1/6
From:
Posts: 235
 Re: This is the highest rated story?!!!
frigging hilarious natalie. this is by far the funniest damn comment on thi s story. natalie you started my day off with a helluva chuckle. thanks! by the way do you know booger? i love the product placement. great shopping ti ps.
willy9
Posted: 2007/2/12 4:28  Updated: 2007/2/12 4:28
Virgin
Joined: 2006/5/22
From:
Posts: 1
 I have them too these blue balls
Great story always have a clit clicker handy that is what I say.
Natalie
Posted: 2007/2/12 2:15  Updated: 2007/2/12 2:26
Virgin
Joined: 2006/7/6
From: Dorothy's house in Kansas
Posts: 10
 This is the highest rated story?!!!
I am astounded that this has garnered so many votes!! ..... Perhaps the pro duct endorsements have something to do with it. I found them to be extreme ly distracting and, worse yet, they added nothing to the story. ........ It would be nice if this writer found another way to resolve her issues wit h the Catholic Church. I'm not fond of the institution either, to be hones t; but, fucking a priest brought the level of this tale into the realm of s corn that did NOT reflect the previous tone of the story. However, the sl ime was smeared when the writer included an older priest buggering the alta r boys. Disgusting! Makes me wonder if it didn't violate the standards th e LL has created, i.e., banning stories about or including references to pe dophilia. ...... This story didn't remotely qualify as a Valentine's Day story to me. It was an excuse to write porn -- not erotica.
trrcobb
Posted: 2007/2/11 22:21  Updated: 2007/2/11 22:21
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/11
From:
Posts: 1
 Roses are Red, Your Balls ar Blue
Gets 3 votes cause it is funny, clever, very well written, and totally cool ; the irony is wonderful; use of religion (twice) is a great trick Sarah H amilton is a real writer, a real pro. TRR Cobb
david48
Posted: 2007/2/11 17:29  Updated: 2007/2/11 17:29
Virgin
Joined: 2006/7/22
From: Dallas
Posts: 2
 popping the popes people
Why am I NOT surprised. Fucking a priest for gods sake! Depraved as usual Sarahhh; no doubt the popular favorite. I love your "mysite" too! You ar e such a sweet sick child...
prop69
Posted: 2007/2/11 16:08  Updated: 2007/2/11 16:08
Virgin
Joined: 2006/5/23
From: GA
Posts: 13
 Re: Hotter than ever!!!!
All I want is some more pics of your smokin' body!!! I've read everyting I can find that you have written. This story was one o f your best. Keep up the HOTTT stories.
prop69
Posted: 2007/2/11 16:05  Updated: 2007/2/11 16:05
Virgin
Joined: 2006/5/23
From: GA
Posts: 13
 Re: Oh yeah
Grest Body/ SWEET PANTIES!!
prop69
Posted: 2007/2/11 16:04  Updated: 2007/2/11 16:04
Virgin
Joined: 2006/5/23
From: GA
Posts: 13
 Re: Grape sorbet?
Nice pic! Beautiful TITS!!!
Handfull1969
Posted: 2007/2/11 14:41  Updated: 2007/2/11 14:41
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/9
From: Mississippi
Posts: 1
 Thank you Sarah
Great story! Glad you lead me to this site! I always enjoy reading your wor k! Keep writing!
Kelsie
Posted: 2007/2/11 14:28  Updated: 2007/2/11 14:28
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/9
From: Ohio
Posts: 10
 Oh yeah
I love your stories, Sarah. You go girl!
Nimrod15
Posted: 2007/2/10 19:51  Updated: 2007/2/10 19:52
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/8
From:
Posts: 1
 Fantastic Fucking Odyssey
Sarah, you do weave such a lovely tail. Getting this Priest to get you ove r the hill 14 times, without orgasming himself, would probably be a record for the Guiness Book. With that much fucking under his belt, he would prob ably be Blue, down to at least his knees. Releasing the load from that muc h titilation, would probably be exceedingly painful, and would have literal ly choked your poor little throat. That is unless I underestimate, your ab ilities at sucking cock.
fast eddie
Posted: 2007/2/10 18:56  Updated: 2007/2/10 18:56
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/10
From:
Posts: 1
 loved it
verrrrrrrrry hot as usual ! i love you i just can't taste you from here. LO VE ED
Fiddler
Posted: 2007/2/10 18:06  Updated: 2007/2/10 18:06
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/10
From: Westeren USA
Posts: 1
 Blue Balls
A must read! Gets your blood flowing with writing that is easy to read, no typos and for a change, excellent grammer!
Agent005
Posted: 2007/2/10 15:34  Updated: 2007/2/10 15:34
Virgin
Joined: 2006/12/20
From: Washington DC
Posts: 2
 What a great story
Fun and exciting and interesting to the very end. Love to read your work. I t's always so hot and erotic...with a little humor worked in too. Keep up t he great writing.
Sarahhh
Posted: 2007/2/10 13:57  Updated: 2007/2/10 13:57
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2005/12/3
From: Steelers country
Posts: 300
 Re: Hotter than ever!!!!
Dude, I'm hiring you as my press agent. You don't get paid but there are fr inge benefits.
prop69
Posted: 2007/2/10 10:08  Updated: 2007/2/10 10:08
Virgin
Joined: 2006/5/23
From: GA
Posts: 13
 Hotter than ever!!!!
Don't miss any stories written by Sarahh!!!! The only thing HOTTER is her SMOKIN' BODY!!! Best combination of BRAINS AND BODY on the Internet. My favorite author. Look for her book at Amazon.com. RATTRAP!! lol Prop69/Al
dogbone62
Posted: 2007/2/10 2:02  Updated: 2007/2/10 2:02
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/10
From:
Posts: 1
 Mmmmmmmmmore
I seem to be following you around. You are just so fucking hot, hot, hot. Again a winner. I love the humor, the metaphores. The hot women that really must be modeled after you. Love ya sweetie. Thanks for the invite! B!
BennyF
Posted: 2007/2/9 19:21  Updated: 2007/2/9 19:21
Up and Comer
Joined: 2006/8/23
From:
Posts: 59
 You made my fingers sticky
but that still does not make up for the Flyers loss last night. You should write a hockey story!
starman2718
Posted: 2007/2/9 18:27  Updated: 2007/2/9 18:27
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/9
From: South Georgia
Posts: 2
 Roses are red, your balls are blue
Sarahhh, Once again, another great story told with your great attention to detail an d your great sense of humor! Keep up the good work!
lerner
Posted: 2007/2/9 16:47  Updated: 2007/2/9 16:47
Virgin
Joined: 2007/1/28
From: Florida
Posts: 8
 Another Excellent Story
Now I know why you're my favorite author. With well written stories that a re pleasingly graphic in detail, you take your readers for a ride. If you pay attention to the story, you cant help but put yourself into it (pun int ended). It caused the desired result I was looking for. Keep up the sexy work, Sarah! Love you...
bucki1956
Posted: 2007/2/9 9:18  Updated: 2007/2/9 9:18
Virgin
Joined: 2006/12/21
From: Columbus, MS
Posts: 2
 Great story Sarah
You have done it again sweet lady. You had me so hard by the end my girlfri end was very very happy. Keep it up girl
woody
Posted: 2007/2/9 9:01  Updated: 2007/2/9 9:01
Bookworm
Joined: 2006/5/20
From:
Posts: 79
 Shame on you, Sarahhh
You gave Woody a woody.
nando
Posted: 2007/2/9 6:42  Updated: 2007/2/9 6:42
Virgin
Joined: 2006/11/17
From:
Posts: 1
 LMFAO
Very funny story. Hot too. You rock.
cemmaes
Posted: 2007/2/8 23:27  Updated: 2007/2/8 23:27
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2005/11/6
From: Red Sex Nation
Posts: 693
 You must have missed me
on the street - I was the guy checking you out from Starbuck's. You know I would have fucked you 8 ways from Sunday - on Saturday. Ahh well. Next time , love. :oD Awesome writing as always, sexy! Makes me want to finish MY story now...
Rachael
Posted: 2007/2/8 19:39  Updated: 2007/2/8 19:39
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/1/10
From: USA
Posts: 279
 Hot As Hell
How am I going to sit thru mass on Sunday and not think about this story?? You've outdone yourself, Sarah. It's brilliant, funny, and hot as hell. This story just may be my favorite of all the ones you've written.
Big Richard
Posted: 2007/2/8 16:21  Updated: 2007/2/8 16:21
Virgin
Joined: 2006/2/28
From:
Posts: 10
 I volunteer
Hey honey, the next time you need somebody to participate in your orgasm ma rathon I am available. You don\'t need to seduce a priest. God might punish you. Let me punish you instead.
Delilah
Posted: 2007/2/8 14:52  Updated: 2007/2/8 14:52
Bookworm
Joined: 2006/2/24
From:
Posts: 91
 Grape sorbet?
The big dude who looked like a Hells Angel who shopped at Victoria's Secret for lingerie reminded me of sinsee.
erik79
Posted: 2007/2/8 14:29  Updated: 2007/2/8 14:29
Virgin
Joined: 2007/2/3
From:
Posts: 2
 Fantastic!
Best story I've read on this site so far. Kudos.
2luscious
Posted: 2007/2/8 13:55  Updated: 2007/2/8 13:55
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/7/14
From: Always checking my headings ...
Posts: 2235
 Bowing to you!
I loved this!!! Reminded me of meeting newbies in the LL......... Too fun ny, lady!
sirjohn247
Posted: 2007/2/8 13:35  Updated: 2007/2/8 13:35
Bookworm
Joined: 2006/7/28
From: virginia-USA
Posts: 97
 Outstanding
as usual, sexy sarahhh....marvelous, wonderful and inspired, which derives from inspirational...which is latin for do a priest, maybe?
monke96
Posted: 2007/2/8 12:36  Updated: 2007/2/8 12:36
Virgin
Joined: 2006/9/2
From:
Posts: 1
 HOT HOT HOT
YOWSA THIS STORY IS HOT THANKS
Miro
Posted: 2007/2/8 11:22  Updated: 2007/2/8 11:23
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/3/23
From: The Netherworld
Posts: 585
 Big 'O'
I think a little ditty is in order for this one;D The Roses were sold out. Violets, No such luck. You're doing it wrong luv, It's not blow but suck. Wonderful tale Sarah and I must admit that your graphic descriptions were v ery very good. Loved it babe!
docsonar
Posted: 2007/2/8 11:05  Updated: 2007/2/8 11:05
Virgin
Joined: 2006/8/29
From:
Posts: 1
 Hilarious
The part where you couldn't get laid for nothing was a hoot. Hot story!
SkyJudge
Posted: 2007/2/8 10:30  Updated: 2007/2/8 10:30
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/7/30
From: All over the world
Posts: 257
 Father Frank's Fuck
Sacreledge is always fun to read about and now you have certainly reaffirme d the thought...all people are perverts! But that probably comes from your schooling;D Yes Sarah I have to agree with Lil here and admit that the circumstances do indeed ring a bell. Wasn't Frank...oh never mind. Not really appropriate h ere! LOL! Loved it darlin'!
sinsee
Posted: 2007/2/8 10:26  Updated: 2007/2/8 10:26
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/1/6
From:
Posts: 235
 Re: Roses in Bloom!
yeah and the product placement is awesome. now i know what to look for when i go shopping. a little disappointed no strap ons though.
Lillian2Yung
Posted: 2007/2/8 10:20  Updated: 2007/2/8 10:20
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/2/5
From: The Low lands
Posts: 656
 Roses in Bloom!
As always love, wonderfully written and very very sexy. The names have been changed but the events rings a bell....naughty girl. Give my love to, 'Bri t', 'Ash' and 'Kim' when you hear from her;D Great 'story' babe!
tom82
Posted: 2007/2/8 8:58  Updated: 2007/2/8 8:58
Lusty Librarian's Pet
Joined: 2006/6/22
From: London, UK
Posts: 370
 nice one sarahh
your fasat becoming one of my favourite writers on here. id love to know how you can write long stories, and keep my hypnotised till the end. I just see your name next to the titel and get hard. you have a truly brilliant mind.... would love to get inside it! thanks xx