| Gay: Lusty Liaisons: Just Friends (1/3) |
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My thoughts often went to J.P., the first crush I ever had on a man, boy really. I had just talked to him, his, wife and kids on the phone. I told him how hot I used to find him, he acted surprised, like he didn’t know. We had only spoken a couple times on the phone, over the years, but had so much fun laughing and catching up. We exchanged Christmas cards every year, that was it, except an occasional e-mail from his wife, updating me on the family. He was one of my best friends. Not the kind you should tell your deepest darkest secret to, but the kind you were comfortable around. One day we were laying in a field, looking up at the clouds, when I confessed that I was often jealous of his dates with girls. I think he knew what I meant, but he didn’t say anything. I tried to make it clearer for him. I told him I wish I were his date. He quickly turned the conversation back to his dropping out of school. He was eighteen and could do what he wanted, but I was hoping he would stick it out. I told him how smart he was, not to get discouraged by his grades. I felt a little lonely, knowing my confession fell on deaf ears, but let it slide. He would tell me about his dates, when he was all washed and ready to leave for his fun. Around me he was his old sweaty self, not that he had a bad odor in any way. I think he knew just by the way I was around him, that he turned me on. He would come over to dinner, with my folks, and have his hand moving up my thigh, closing in on my crotch. I spent most of the time, wondering if they knew I was aroused. He wanted to just be friends, yet he would send me mixed signals. He did the same thing, when my dad took us to a hockey game. His hand made it’s way in my crotch, several times that evening. My dad was only one seat away, and I hoped my heavy winter coat was hiding the action. I was erect most of the time we spent together. We played videos most often, but a few times he caught me off guard. Once he pulled me on top of him and kissed my lips. Which must have been like kissing a plank, because I held them shut tight, not responding. I wanted him so much. Even though, I knew from a young age, I was attracted to the same sex, it was awkward for me to have him playing games with my emotions. I knew he wasn’t gay, so was really confused by the whole thing. I always saw him with his girlfriends. He watched our dogs ,while we were away, and I found a bra in the couch. I never mentioned it to him, just put it in the trash. I would get the play by play of his dating, how he would pull out just in time, so he wouldn’t get stuck with some brat kid. He had fucked up along the way, as he called me and told me his future wife was pregnant. It was like he was asking permission to just blow her off. The fool that I was, I told him to marry her and give the kid his name. A part of me always wished, he would leave her and come be with me. I |
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Just friends
