| Lesbian: First Time: A Test of Faith - Part Five (8/9) |
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was pleasantly surprised by this woman’s kind words. “Oh, sure thang. Come on, Michael, my boy. Let’s go for a walk, shall we? Need to air these ol’ bones.” She started to usher the little boy out the door. “Nana, you don’t have to go. I’ve got nothing to say to her–.” “But I bet she’s got something to say to you.” I heard a dry chuckle before the door slammed shut. “She’s right, you know,” I said softly. “Jessie, look. I just don’t want to see you. I can’t handle this right now. Just…go. Leave.” She turned her back on me and headed for the stairs. “You still love me.” It was a tough chance, I knew, but decided that there was no harm trying. I’d lost everything, anyway. I had nothing left to lose now. She turned slowly, her eyes glinting off the anger in her. “No, I don’t. I hate you, Jessie. For what you did to me, for what you did to us, I hate you. You didn’t trust me. How could you have not trusted me?” There were tears in her eyes now, angry tears. “There was so much evidence against you, Eva. You have to try and understand me. Would you have believed me if I was in your position?” “Yes, I would have! I loved you. I loved you so much. I was going to tell you about everything…but I was so afraid…” I took two steps closer to her and noticed that tears were making tracks down her cheeks. She swiped at them with the back of her hand. I noticed, too, that her lips had been nibbled raw in spots. “And when I told you the truth, you didn’t believe me. Have you any idea how much it hurt? It felt like a part of me was being ripped apart.” “I know how that feels,” I admitted. She turned towards me and her eyes were sad now. “There’s nothing left in me, Jessie. I’ve nothing left to give you. Please, just go. Please…” She raked a hand through her hair. I knew I had one last shot. I couldn’t screw this up. I’d never forgive myself if I did. I slid to my knees in front of her, circling her legs with my hands and laying my head on her stomach. She tried to pull away but I only clung to her tighter. “I know that now, baby.” I felt her tense even more at my use of that endearment. “I’m so sorry about that. About everything. I want you to come back to me. This past month has been hell without you. I felt so hollow, a hollow shell of my former self when you weren’t beside me. I’ve never felt so empty in my life. You were the missing piece in it. Without you, everything seemed to fall apart around me… God, I just love you. I love you so much it hurts. Take me back, Eva, please. I need you. I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise.” I waited for three heartbeats before looking up at her. There was indecision in her eyes. Hope flared its ugly head in my heart. Then, as though of their own volition, her fingers rose to tangle themselves in my hair. I buried my face against her belly, |
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amazing story
