| Lesbian: First Time: A Test of Faith - Part Five |
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“Jess, is that you?” I heard Eva call out when I entered the house. “Yeah. It’s me,” I said as I carried the bouquet of roses into the hall. Eva was seated on the couch, the morning paper spread out in front of her. She was wearing my shirt. “You have to see this! Come here… My god, is that for me?” she squeaked when she saw the roses in my hands. “Well, yeah. I thought you might like them.” I’d never given anyone flowers before and I felt a little awkward. Should I go forward and give them to her or wait for her to come to me? She made the decision and got up from the couch, coming to stand in front of me. She reached out to finger one downy petal of a rose. “They’re beautiful.” She looked up at me, her eyes bright. “No,” I said. “You’re beautiful.” I saw tears glimmer on her eyelashes and quickly covered her mouth with mine, telling her without words that I couldn’t bear to see her cry. The roses probably fell to the floor when our lips touched, but I’m not too sure. It could have been anywhere between then and when I got her on the carpet naked and begging. It had been a week since we’d been together and I could feel the need for frantic sex in the air, making me impatient to bring her to an orgasm. Her lips yielded under mine as I kissed her thoroughly, roughly, my tongue mating with hers in a fiery dance. I don’t know if it was the newfound love in me, but I felt our usually soft loving turn into a fierce one, with grunts and groans of pleasure. My mouth wasn’t gentle on her breast when I bit down, then suckled on each globe. Her belly ring glinted in the warm morning light and I used my fingers to pull at it, making her gasp in surprised pain and pleasure. My fingers and mouth continued to work on her breasts while my other hand slipped to her pussy. She whimpered when I pushed myself into her, feeling her tightness clench around me. She felt so good inside, like satin or silk. Her juices lubricated my every thrust, until with every movement, she was gasping for air. Her eyes were tightly closed, concentrating on the pleasure rising in her body. I saw her belly quiver when I curled my finger inside her, trying to find her G-spot. I knew I was wet, so wet that my jeans were probably soaked through. But I didn’t seem to care about my own pleasure when I had her beneath me, trembling so sweetly. I pushed into her harder and heard her let out a small scream of pleasure. Her thighs clamped down on my hand as I put my lips to hers to capture the sound of her release. She poured into my hand like honey, making me groan against her lips. “That’s it, baby,” I whispered as her breathing started to settle. I pulled out of her and licked my fingers, tasting her – a taste that was almost as familiar to me now as my own. I kissed her again, letting her taste herself and she responded weakly. I lay down beside her on the carpet, cradling her pliant body against mine. With tender fingers, I brushed the damp hair back from her face. My body was throbbing with need but I could take care of it later. “Eva, are you all right?” I asked a moment later, when I saw a tear drop slip from between her lashes. Her eyes fluttered open. “Yeah. I’m fine,” she sniffled. “You just make me feel so good, Jess. Do you mind if I…you know…” Her fingers trailed down my torso tentatively. I leaned back against the carpet to give her fuller access. She slipped her hands under my shirt, pulling the hem up to expose my black sports bra. Then, she ducked and lightly bit me below my breastbone, making me gasp and look down at her. She was smiling rather impishly. “You have to help me get this off,” she said, pointing to the bra. When I did as I was told, her hands settled on my shoulders and she pushed me firmly down onto the carpet. She stared at my breasts for a good long while, before meeting my eyes again. “I like your breasts,” she said shyly. “They’re tiny, Eva,” I replied. “No, they’re not. They’re just right.” She kissed her way down from my neck to my breasts pausing only to flick occasional licks across my heated skin. Her naked breasts grazed my exposed torso when she leaned down and I groaned when she settled her mouth over one of my nipples. Her mouth was slick, hot and wet when she laved at my breasts and I felt the familiar heat scorch my lower abdomen. She kissed my breast after each suckle, making me feel a little cherished. And when she bit the sensitive skin on the underside of my breast, I arched my back and groaned with pleasure. Her lips traced a wet path over my belly, down to the waistband of my jeans. Her nimble fingers flicked the button open as she placed a chaste kiss on my hipbone. Then, my jeans and undies were out of the way, leaving me totally bare to her gaze. She stared at me avidly for a moment, taking in my engorged lips and pink slickness. I gave her time to get used to me, knowing that this was her first time ever looking at a pussy. Slowly, I felt her hand stroke the soft skin around my clit. The pleasure of it sent goose bumps down my body. I had to fight from closing my thighs around her as she inquisitively ran a fingernail down my slit, making me shiver. She placed her thumb on my clit, lightly massaging the tight pleasure pack until I was writhing on the carpet, eyes closed, body waiting to surrender. She stroked me once, twice, three times and I could see heaven behind my eyelids. And when she put her mouth on me, sticking her tongue into me, I felt the tight knot in me shatter, bringing forth a gush of juices. I was saying something, but everything was beyond comprehension – everything except for the pleasure between my legs and pulsing through my body. Eva was hovering over my face as I came down from my orgasmic high. She stared into my face, and the chain that I’d given her dangled below her. She smiled when I opened my eyes. “Was that OK?” she asked. I pulled her down for a kiss, rolling her beneath me. “That was more than OK, baby. That was fucking fantastic!” She giggled and then became serious. I felt the shift of emotions in her and leaned back so that we both lay on our sides. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “Jess, just now, when you came, you said something…” she started, then stopped to look at me. “Oh. What did I say?” “You said you loved me.” I stared into her doe-like eyes, feeling a rush of warmth surrounding my heart. Yes, I did love her. “I do love you, baby,” I said after a while. Her eyes filled with tears. God, would she cry about everything? “Now, is that so bad?” I asked when she buried her face against my neck. “No, no, Jess. It’s not like that. It’s just, god, I love you, too. At first, I thought it was just an infatuation. You were my boss and all tall and gorgeous. I just thought that any woman would like you and naturally, I liked you, too. But last night, when I was dancing with you, I realized that what I felt for you went beyond liking. I think, no, I know I love you, Jess.” I tilted her head up to meet mine. “Eva?” “Hmm?” “You cry for the silliest things.” She laughed through her tears. “God, how I love that about you.” She smiled as I kissed her, sealing my vow of love to her. “You’re gonna have to move in with me, you know. I don’t feel safe with you living in that flat of yours. I’ll help you bring your stuff here later. Is that all right with you?” “Yeah, it’s all right. But are you sure about it? Do you really want me to move in with you?” “Of course. Now, get dressed.” I swatted her chubby behind. “You’re tempting me with those eyes of yours.” “Oh, really?” I had to love the devil in her eyes. * Dear Diary, I’m moving in with Jess. She told me she loved me today and practically bullied me into moving in with her. Well, I really don’t mind being bullied by her, since it always leads to something, er, nice. But diary, I don’t think I can keep it a secret anymore. The whole thing hurts when I think about it. If I don’t tell her soon, I have a feeling that it’ll affect our relationship. I’ll tell her as soon as possible. Then maybe I’ll go to Uncle Bryan and tell him that I won’t do it; I just can’t. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I just hope that I’ve the courage to do it. Evvie. * “Morning, Marie. Any messages for me?” I asked as I passed my secretary the following Wednesday, after lunch. Eva had been missing for the whole day. I hadn’t seen her since this morning, when we’d left home together. “Yes, there was one from Ryan. And then there’re two from Monica.” She laughed at the face I made. “I’ve put them on your desk.” “Thanks. What would I do without you,” I called as I made my way to the office. I was surprised to find the in-office phone ringing. “Jessica Carter,” I said when I picked up. “Jessica, this is Quinn. I need you to come to my office for a minute. It’s about the campaign issue.” “Sure. I’ll be there in a sec.” I grabbed the documents that I’d filed against JJ Inc and moved to the office a corridor away from mine. “I’ve got the doc–.” I stopped short when I saw Eva in the room and two security guards in the corner. It took my mind only two seconds to put everything together, but my heart wouldn’t accept it. It couldn’t. I stared at a wide-eyed Eva as I stood in the doorway, heart thumping heavily in my chest. “Quinn, why is she here?” I asked. My voice sounded hoarse. “Come take a look at these, Jess.” My legs felt like lead when I started across the room. This couldn’t be happening. I refused to accept it. On Quinn’s table were pictures, large, blown-up pictures from surveillance cameras. Pictures of Eva in the reception area of JJ Inc. “No,” I whispered, mostly to myself. No, I won’t believe it. “I don’t believe this,” I said firmly. Quinn shook his head and handed me a cell phone. I recognized it immediately. It was Eva’s. “Check the messages.” I flipped through the inbox, vaguely realizing that my hands were trembling. ‘Hurry up. We need the information before Saturday.’ ‘Eva, we need the info now.’ ‘Just read through her files!’ I’d had enough. I leaned back in the chair, totally numb. “Jessie?” I didn’t turn around. I knew it was her. “Jessie, please. You can’t believe this!” I didn’t say a word. “Of course she can,” Quinn cut in smoothly. “There is sufficient evidence to prove that you’re the one who’s been leaking information to JJ Inc. The police are over at the company now. We’ll know the truth sooner or later.” “But it’s not the truth! It’s true that I applied for an attachment here to find out about the Christmas campaign, but I swear, I never said anything to anyone. I didn’t even manage to find out about the campaign. The only thing I found out about was the contract you were talking about the other day! Jess, you have to believe me! God, I love you!” Her words cut into my heart. Fuck, I was hurting. Quinn’s cell phone rang. He nodded twice, then snapped it shut. “JJ Inc.’s owner, Justin Johnson, admitted everything. He probably saw no way out. He also revealed that he got the information from her, his niece, Eva Smith-Johnson.” Quinn turned to Eva. “There will be legal action taken against you, Miss Smith-Johnson, on conspiracy and theft. Since you are still under the legal age-limit–.” “Quinn,” I cut in. “Yes, Jessica?” He sound mildly irritated. “Don’t press charges. I’ll pay for the loss that the company faces. Give her a warning.” I stood up. “I’m taking the rest of the day off. Call me on my cell if you need me.” With that, I strode out of the room, with Eva’s cries of “Jess!” still ringing in my ears. Back in my office, I laid my head in my hands. A spy. A god damned fucking spy. That’s all she’d been doing all this time. Spying. She’d said she loved me. Was that a lie, too? Probably. Yes, I thought. She could’ve gotten the information easily from one of the files I kept at home. She could’ve snuck out of bed anytime during the night while I was asleep. How could I have been so stupid? I should’ve known that the innocence in her eyes was nothing but a show. I should’ve known… But I hadn’t. She’d made me love her, made me fall into her trap just to get what she wanted. The first tear fell onto the desk and I shook myself. I needed to get away, from her, from everything. I needed to leave. My heart felt like a stone, sitting heavily in my chest as I made for the door. I signed the leave forms that I asked Marie for, trying to disguise the fact that I was crying. Then, ignoring the bright flashes of lights from the police cars outside, I drove off. * I awoke to the sound of waves crashing against the seashore. Dazedly, I looked around, spotting some early morning joggers looking at me curiously. The half-empty bottle of Vodka sat next to me and I reached for it and tilted it to my lips. ‘Drunk again,’ I thought to myself. It had been the fifth consecutive night that I’d spent on the sand after passing out from too much alcohol. It seemed to be the only solution to what plagued me these days. When I drank, I forgot about her and that was what I wanted. So I drank – bottles of ancient Scotch, Brandy, but my favorite was Vodka. Nothing like a little V-hit to make you forget old times. “Lo ho mancato,” I heard behind me and turned. There was a couple, a guy and a girl, sitting on top of a rock, their faces so close together that a paper couldn’t fit between them. I groaned in disgust, and then got up to leave. I’d been in Italy for more than a month now, just driving from place to place with no destination to speak of. It was a week ago that I’d ended up in Sorrento and had taken a liking to the beach. It was so relaxing and cool during the nights…so in contrast to how I felt inside. She haunted me like never before. I tried not to think about her, but it was no use. Even in my dreams, she came to me, crying my name as I left her. I usually woke up drenched in sweat and drank myself back to sleep after that. It was a pitiful existence, I knew, but there was not much else I could do. Everything in me was in pieces; shattered, broken pieces. I struggled to my feet and staggered toward the hotel that I was staying in. It was somewhere near the beach, I knew, but when I finally got there, I felt like I’d walked for hours. Moreover, my bottle was empty. I plunked onto a seat in the near-empty hotel restaurant and ordered another bottle. A pretty young lady came forward to pass it to me. She looked around, and then sat opposite me. I glared at her, not wanting to be disturbed. “I have watched you, signorina, for the past week. You have done nothing but drink. People say I have a listening power. I can help you if you would like to talk to me.” I grunted before I leaned forward to grab the bottle. “Very well. But I will be here if you need me.” She gestured to the kitchen, and then walked off. I wondered about her briefly before dismissing her from my mind. She would probably get a kick out of my problems. Somehow, I made it to my room and collapsed onto the bed. When I opened my eyes, it was dark again. There was no light in the room for I’d not bothered to keep a light on. I could hear the tourists outside, laughing, having a good time. And I refused to pity myself. Loud banging on the door got me to an upright position. I told the person to go away, but the knocking was insistent. Irritated, I got off the bed and whipped open the door. “What…Quinn?” I knew he could see the shock mirrored in my eyes. Of all people, Quinn! Here! “What are you doing here?” “I could ask you the same question,” he said smoothly as he pushed his way into the room. He flicked the switch on and turned toward me. “Why aren’t you picking up your cell? Or checking your e-mails? It’s been a month since you’ve gotten back to anyone at the office. You’ve got Marie, Amelia, me and everyone else worried…” “Stop, Quinn. Really, why are you here? I just need to be alone.” “I came here to give you this,” he said and took out an envelope from his suit pocket. “What is it?” I sat on the edge of the sofa in the room. “Read and you’ll see.” I flipped through it, recognizing it as a photocopy of the contract that we’d bid for a month ago. “Why is it photocopied?” “Because it’s what Miss Smith-Johnson handed over to Justin Johnson.” A slash of pain tore through my heart. “But look at this,” Quinn pointed to a sum of figures on the paper. Shock, brief and fierce, tore through me. My eyes rose to meet his. “She changed the fucking numbers.” * I pulled the Harley to a stop outside the old ranch-like house, watching the warm glow inside the house flicker into the night sky. Somewhere in there was Eva, probably enjoying a dinner with her Nana and little brother. I didn’t want to go in; I didn’t want to cause her any more pain, but I couldn’t leave our relationship hanging like I did. I needed to apologize… and maybe, just maybe, get her back. I’d been nothing but a wreck ever since Quinn showed me the document. It was proof that it hadn’t been Eva who’d done it. He’d gone on later to tell me that there had been a confession made by the real spy. I laughed with ironic mirth when he told me it had been Monica all along. JJ Inc. had sent two spies, but one of them turned out to be unfruitful. I’d read through the statement that Eva had given the police. Justin Johnson was her uncle, yes, but he’d blackmailed her into spying for him. The plan was to cozy up to Quinn, initially, but Eva had gotten to me instead. A memory of her, with tears on her cheeks, her hair in a mess, came back to me. “Jess, you have to believe me! God, I love you!” A shudder wracked my tall frame. How could I have not believed her? I should’ve stayed, stayed and talked to her. Maybe then, I’d have been able to figure the truth out. She’d never betrayed me. It was I who had betrayed us, betrayed our love. I started towards the house. How would she react if she saw me? I wondered as I climbed the steps to the front door. Would she want to see me? Would she be angry at me? Would she still love me? Fuck, I was dying inside. Before I could turn back, I raised my hand and rapped on the door. After momentous shuffling, I heard a child-like voice saying, “I’ll get it,” and the door was flung open. Before me stood a boy, probably five or six years old, dressed in overalls and a shirt. He stared up at me with unblinking dark eyes. “Hey there,” I said. “Is – uh – is Eva in?” He continued to stare at me before calling for Eva. His eyes never left me as I stepped into the house, not knowing what to expect. I prayed, something I never did, that she would take me back. I heard soft, female laughter from a room to the right and turned towards it. My steps faltered when I saw her. She was clearing the dinner table, balancing two plates on one hand. She had a smile plastered on her face, but the dark circles around her eyes were obvious signs that she hadn’t been sleeping well. Her hair was down, falling past her shoulders. I remembered all those times that I’d run my fingers through those locks and shivered. “Eva…” It came out in a voice barely above a whisper, but she stopped and turned. A myriad of emotions flickered across her face – shock, longing, then anger. “Who let you in?” The plates clattered onto the table with a loud bang. “I said who the hell let you in?” “Your brother.” God, how I ached to put my arms around her and heal the hurt in her eyes. “Eva, I – we need to talk.” “No, we don’t need to talk. We didn’t need to talk then, and we sure as hell don’t need to talk now. I want you out of this house. Now!” “Evvie, what’s going on in here, sweetheart?” An old black woman hobbled into the hall. She squinted through her gold-rimmed glasses at me. “Ahh.” She smiled after a moment. “You must be Jessie. Would you like a drink, dearie? It would’ve been a long drive from the city.” “No, ma’am, thank you, but may I have a moment with Eva, please?” I asked. The only other old woman I’d known had totally disapproved of what I was. I was pleasantly surprised by this woman’s kind words. “Oh, sure thang. Come on, Michael, my boy. Let’s go for a walk, shall we? Need to air these ol’ bones.” She started to usher the little boy out the door. “Nana, you don’t have to go. I’ve got nothing to say to her–.” “But I bet she’s got something to say to you.” I heard a dry chuckle before the door slammed shut. “She’s right, you know,” I said softly. “Jessie, look. I just don’t want to see you. I can’t handle this right now. Just…go. Leave.” She turned her back on me and headed for the stairs. “You still love me.” It was a tough chance, I knew, but decided that there was no harm trying. I’d lost everything, anyway. I had nothing left to lose now. She turned slowly, her eyes glinting off the anger in her. “No, I don’t. I hate you, Jessie. For what you did to me, for what you did to us, I hate you. You didn’t trust me. How could you have not trusted me?” There were tears in her eyes now, angry tears. “There was so much evidence against you, Eva. You have to try and understand me. Would you have believed me if I was in your position?” “Yes, I would have! I loved you. I loved you so much. I was going to tell you about everything…but I was so afraid…” I took two steps closer to her and noticed that tears were making tracks down her cheeks. She swiped at them with the back of her hand. I noticed, too, that her lips had been nibbled raw in spots. “And when I told you the truth, you didn’t believe me. Have you any idea how much it hurt? It felt like a part of me was being ripped apart.” “I know how that feels,” I admitted. She turned towards me and her eyes were sad now. “There’s nothing left in me, Jessie. I’ve nothing left to give you. Please, just go. Please…” She raked a hand through her hair. I knew I had one last shot. I couldn’t screw this up. I’d never forgive myself if I did. I slid to my knees in front of her, circling her legs with my hands and laying my head on her stomach. She tried to pull away but I only clung to her tighter. “I know that now, baby.” I felt her tense even more at my use of that endearment. “I’m so sorry about that. About everything. I want you to come back to me. This past month has been hell without you. I felt so hollow, a hollow shell of my former self when you weren’t beside me. I’ve never felt so empty in my life. You were the missing piece in it. Without you, everything seemed to fall apart around me… God, I just love you. I love you so much it hurts. Take me back, Eva, please. I need you. I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise.” I waited for three heartbeats before looking up at her. There was indecision in her eyes. Hope flared its ugly head in my heart. Then, as though of their own volition, her fingers rose to tangle themselves in my hair. I buried my face against her belly, feeling the first tear fall from my eyes. “I’m so sorry. So very sorry,” I repeated. She slipped to her knees in front of me, her tear-filled eyes and puffy cheeks lifted to my face. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her, a slow sweet kiss of love and longing. “I love you,” I whispered to her when I pulled back, then ran a thumb over her tear-stained cheeks. She was silent, her fingers massaging my scalp. “You’re supposed to say it, too.” “But you already know that I do.” “But I want to hear you say it.” “Very well. I love you, Jessie.” * “So, why did JJ blackmail you?” I asked later that night. We were in Eva’s room, cuddling on the couch. “Well… My mum and dad died a few years ago and dad had some debts that he hadn’t paid off to Uncle Justin. A lawyer’s notice came for me, his oldest heir, to pay the debt before a certain date. I couldn’t afford it, of course, so I went to see him.” “And he asked you to spy on the company in return for the money, through the attachment program with your school?” I asked. Eva flushed. “Yes.” “You could’ve come to me, you know,” I said after a while. “Come to you saying what? That I needed five thousand dollars to pay my uncle?” she scoffed, although the sound came out as an adorable little huff. “Yeah.” She swatted my arm. “Don’t play with me. I would never have done that. It’s too much money. Besides, two months ago, I didn’t know you existed.” She had a point. “But you could’ve told me after you moved in, at least. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t know if I would have helped you. I’ll spank you.” She giggled, then sighed. “Money’s so easy for you, Jessie,” she paused. “Well, I was going to come to you, but I was scared. I didn’t know if you’d believe me. And even if you did, I didn’t know how you’d react to it.” “Well,” I thought out loud. “I’d have settled the money first, then asked you to pay it back in another form of cash. By the time you moved in, I was crazy about you. I would’ve done anything to keep you. I didn’t – don’t – care about money; all I care about,” I paused dramatically, “is you, only you.” My fingers toyed with a stray strand of her hair. Her eyes started to mist over again. She burrowed her forehead against my neck. “Why do you always make me feel so good?” she asked. “Maybe because I’m special.” She laughed, then her features took on a serious look. “I love you, Jessie. I always will,” she whispered. “I’ll make sure that you do.” My fingers slipped into her hair and all we could do was lose ourselves in the ecstasy of each other. Fin Thanks to everyone who has read this! |
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amazing story
