A great opening!...No pun intended here... Sometimes a few lines is enough to capture and convey a moment. But not this time. As a reader, I want to know more. And that's because you, as the writer has set it up for us to expect more. The stage is set and now we have the opening scene, which you've articulated very well..... But it stops dead. Grab your pin and paper, get yourself comfortable. Then reflect on that time. I believe there's more you want to tell, you just haven't.