| Straight: Celebrity: Daily Smut: or Little Role, Big Part (1/5) |
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“Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan at 733 11th Avenue, between 51st and 52nd Streets.” I muttered as I consulted my card and looked up to find myself at my destination, The Daily Show studio. I had an audition for a walk-on role in one of John Oliver’s segments in which the witty Brit explores the world of American sex scandals. My role, were I to be cast, would be an ersatz intern who crawls under the desk and... well you get the general idea. I was rather exited at the notion. John Oliver was quite attractive to me. If you’ve ever seen the show he is very tall and skinny with a rather thin, pointy-featured face, large expressive eyes and tousled sandy hair. I entered the audition room and shook hands with the casting director seated behind the desk. He looked me up and down and nodded approvingly. “Pretty face... zatfig build. Yes, you’ll do nicely. I’ll send you down to the costume shop to have our blue dress altered to your measurements.” “Wait... you mean I’ve got the part? A pretty face and a zatfig build is enough to get me the role?” “Well all you have to do is walk onto the set, say ‘hello’ to Jon Stewart and then sneak under the desk on John Oliver’s side and just wait there until the segment is nearly over. Not much acting required, really. Mostly we want a girl who will evoke that Clinton, Lewinsky feel. But we don’t want someone who looks just like her either.” “I see...” I said even though I didn’t. Still I wasn’t going to argue. I wanted the bit part. He walked me to the costume shop where I was decked out in a blue dress meant to be the facsimile of the one Monica Lewinsky wore the night of the fatal pizza. The costume people did an excellent job. The dress looked quite becoming on me by the time they were done. The casting director nodded his approval one last time and told me to come back Wednesday evening for the taping. I got home and marked my calendar. Like I’d ever forget my plans for that evening. Wednesday night finally rolled around. I arrived back at the studio. A studio hand met me at the door and escorted me once again to the costume shop where I donned the blue dress and had my hair and make up done. I was led out to the stage by another hand and finally introduced to my “costar.” The hand that shook mine was slightly cold and quite large with long, graceful fingers. A good-natured smile played about his sensitive mouth and his eyes betrayed a slightly mischievous twinkle. “Well now...” He remarked in a light voice slightly deepened by a rich, English accent. “I believe I’m going to quite like having an intern... even for just a five-minute segment.” I smiled rather shyly at him. Just then, Jon Stewart sat down at the news desk. John Oliver bowed slightly and then went to join him as the incidental music started. “Welcome back to the Daily Show!” Jon Stewart called in his usual affable way. “With me now is Senior White House correspondent John Oliver. Now John, you’ve been looking into Presidential sex scandals and whether affairs of this nature really do interfere with the president’s ability to do his job.” “That is correct, Jon,” John Oliver responded. “And I’ve found that it is a very overrated problem. |
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you gotta love those interns