| Straight: Celebrity: In My Head (1/4) |
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My world was one of iron bars and hunger. I spent my days crouched in the corner of my enclosed world, less than twelve feet of space to call my own. I could spread out a little bit if I wanted to; I’m small after all. But I don’t want to. I want to huddle as far away from the door of my cage as I can. I’m not sure who brought me here or why. I don’t remember to be honest. I woke up here. They feed me everyday and I get let out to use the bathroom. At least I’m not starving to death. The people who come to tend to me are always masked. I can’t even tell if they are men or women. I wonder often where I am. Am I in the same city? Have I been moved somewhere else? If I were to escape, what would I find outside of the walls of my imprisonment? I think about shallow things sometimes, like washing my hair. I would really love to wash my hair, to take a long hot shower and soap this nightmare away. That would be lovely. I should instead think about my family and my friends and whether or not they are worried for me, about whether or not anyone is looking for me. But I don’t. Not really. It’s too much to think that way. I would go crazy. Instead I think about happier things. I think about old TV shows that I have loved and movies that I used to watch. In my fantasies, and I do fantasize a lot in here, someone always comes to save me. The door to my cage is ripped open and there stands… well it changes by the day who it is. Some days it’s Angel, other days it’s Jack Sparrow, all gold teeth and black eye makeup. Johnny Depp. I think about him a lot. My mind wanders around a bit and sometimes finds my way back to him. He has that kind of face, you know? He’s beautiful yet gives you the feeling that you could actually talk to him, have a conversation, whether it be about the weather or about why I’m in this cage. He would listen, I think. He would want to help. In my dreams at night, we talk a lot. Sometimes do more than talk. I know I’m dirty, unclean from however long I’ve been in this place, but in my dreams, my hair is long and shiny, flowing in curly ringlets down my back. I wear a long dress that cascades around my feet in a pile of silk. He stands in front of me in a tuxedo and a top hat. I don’t know why he has the top hat. I don’t ask. But he’s Johnny Depp and can wear a top hat if he wants. He holds out his hand to me and I take it. He pulls me to him and we dance. We dance the way people used to dance, the way they still dance in the movies. There is a waltz playing in the background, I don’t know where it is coming from. He whirls me around as though I am light as air, his hand on the small of my back, his other holding my own hand out to the side. I rest one hand on his shoulder, very ladylike. I like to think I am a lady |
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A Wish
