Apart from the occasional flutter of an eyelid, there was nothing. I held her hand, played with it as Regina had played with mine. The thought of her touch made me hard and my erection disgusted me. What was I doing? My wife, the woman I’ve loved for so long, lying here, dying… and my mind and body aching to see this young girl I’d only just met. Still, as I watched the clock impatiently, I told Danielle about the girl, how we met, her background, her own terminal illness. It was really good to have something different to talk about - nothing but the timeless drudgery of hospital visits had occupied me for months. I said she’d like her, said I might even bring her up to meet her.

19:45 I went to the toilet, cleaned my teeth, checked round my mouth and my three days’ growth for crumbs, splashed water on my face, smoothed down my short grey hair. Then I washed my cock. Honestly. Washed my fucking cock. What did I think was going to happen? In a hospital? I was really losing it.

19.55 I crept back in and kissed Danielle goodnight. I’d have a coffee with Regina and then go home. Get a proper night’s sleep.

20:00 I paused by the door and then stepped into the refectory, ever so slightly out of breath after my hasty descent. She was there, wearing the same clothes as earlier, but now with a hint of make-up and perfectly messed-up curls. God, she looked gorgeous. I was suddenly eighteen myself, giddy, nervous.

‘Knew you’d be on time – I got them in. It was my round. Latte?’

‘I thought you’d stand me up! Latte is perfect. Thank you.’

We continued where we left off earlier. Our chat came easily and there was never a silent, anxious moment to fill. The coffee went cold. I got some more for us both. The woman behind the counter recognised me. I’d been coming here a long time.

‘Er… yes. She should be studying, but wanted to come. Think I have the right money… there. Quiet tonight?’ I knew instantly the lie was a bad one. Why did I even feel the need to?

‘Studying? I thought the exams were all done with? She’s a lovely looking girl.’ We both glanced across at her and she smiled back. ‘Yeah. It’s very quiet. There’s been a pile up on the M1. Silly buggers, going too fast it said on the radio.’ I remembered hearing the constant wail of approaching sirens. ‘When the nurses are busy, we’re quiet! That’s the way it is ‘round here. Enjoy your coffee, love.’ She smiled and waved over my shoulder to my ‘daughter’ and then disappeared into the back.

I carried them carefully back to where Regina sat, then motioned to a circular table in an alcove by the window. We could see the city laid out before us from there, lots of