| Straight: Lusty Liaisons: Better late than never... (1/5) |
 13 votes |
|||
Share This Story: BlinkList - del.icio.us - Furl - ma.gnolia - Spurl - Yahoo MyWeb - StumbleUpon |
||||
|
{Please note: I posted this elsewhere under another name; thought I'd dust it off and share it here.} It was about eight months or so since I'd become a widower (no details; it's not relevant) and like Tom Hanks in "Sleepless in Seattle", I was getting back in the saddle again--you know, getting out and so forth. The timing was right for the chili contest at our church, so I'd gone as usual. I wound up sitting with a group that included Norma: she was one of the regulars, a petite, almost elfin woman maybe five years younger than me, not bad looking, always upbeat...you know the type. I say "almost elfin" because I'd noticed more than once, during the summer when the air conditioning was on full blast, that those tank tops she wore in the summer housed a rather impressive rack, made more so by the A/C that put those headlights on high beam. But I digress. I hung around to help clean up afterward (didn't have anywhere else to go), along with a handful of others, including Norma. It looked like we were pretty well squared away except for the odds and ends when one of the other members came through and said "I'm heading out; Norma, would you mind locking up?" She said, "No problem; Chuck and I can finish up--OK, Chuck?" addressing me. Well, that was OK for reasons already outlined. We finished the last stuff and were getting ready to go when she stopped and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a really personal question?" That didn't bother me and I said sure, why not. She hesitated for a couple of seconds before asking, "You and Ingrid...well, you were married about 30 years, and...was your love life OK?" I wasn't expecting that, but didn't see any harm, so I answered truthfully, "I wouldn't call it spectacular, but it got the job done." Now, you don't get a question like that out of nowhere unless it's leading somewhere, but I thought, don't push; whatever this is, it's delicate. She continued, "Did you have any trouble at first...I mean, like the first time...?" DEFINITELY leading somewhere, but I couldn't imagine where, I thought, responding, "No; can't say as we did. Seems to me we took it kind of slowly and it worked fine." She nodded, gnawing her lower lip (and I'm thinking there's more to come) and said, "I don't know how much of my life you know about but...I've never married and never really had a serious boyfriend." There wasn't much to say to that, apart from "hmmm", especially since I could see she was on the verge of something big. That's when she stepped close, grasped my forearms, and said, "I gotta say it right out: Chuck, I'm still a virgin--at my age!--and I'm tired of it. I don't want to be a virgin anymore." No wisecracks here; if any of you guys got hit with a line like that, it would catch you totally off-balance too, which is why I did a double-take and said wittily, "Say again?" She repeated, "I'm still a virgin; I'm tired of it, and I have a big favor to ask you." A thought zipped through my head, and I instantly dismissed that as totally unlikely. She continued, "Would you do it for me--I mean, make me not a virgin anymore?" Talk about getting blindsided: it's not every day you're confronted with something like |
  |
Pretty Good