| Poster
| Thread
|
| morgan1 |
Posted: 2009/10/21 15:13 Updated: 2009/10/21 15:13 |
Virgin   Joined: 2006/12/22 From: here Posts: 8 |
 orgies and gang bang bangs..amber gets a treat well written and so very hot. One of my dreams i have yet to live...very sexy.
|
|
|
| Kimber Leigh |
Posted: 2009/10/17 20:23 Updated: 2009/10/17 20:23 |
Virgin   Joined: 2009/10/10 From: Canada Posts: 4 |
 wow! When I started reading this story, I was not expecting to end with two woman.
Normally that damps my interest but this story was hot! I agree with the others.
I'd love to see more stories about Nick's special VIP dungeon.
|
|
|
| Kimber Leigh |
Posted: 2009/10/17 20:22 Updated: 2009/10/17 20:22 |
Virgin   Joined: 2009/10/10 From: Canada Posts: 4 |
 wow! When I started reading this story, I was not expecting to end with two woman.
Normally that damps my interest but this story was hot! I agree with the others.
I'd love to see more stories about Nick's special VIP dungeon.
|
|
|
| Pensuwana |
Posted: 2009/3/22 9:05 Updated: 2009/3/22 9:05 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2007/1/19 From: In a lustful state of erotic delirium Posts: 3214 |
 good writing very good, enjoyed this soooo much
|
|
|
| Owned_slave |
Posted: 2008/9/14 15:27 Updated: 2008/9/14 15:27 |
Virgin   Joined: 2008/9/1 From: Posts: 11 |
 good but it needed some more. but a very hot start
|
|
|
| Coyote |
Posted: 2008/5/15 12:17 Updated: 2008/5/15 12:17 |
Up and Comer   Joined: 2006/4/30 From: Windsor, Ont, Canada Posts: 49 |
 Blazing Thats the best rating I could give it unfortunately the scale goes no higher.
Please dont leave us hanging, your descriptiveness is amazing. I could see everything
as it happened. Waiting for parts 2,3 and 4.......this story could turn into
a book if done right
|
|
|
| KdotS65 |
Posted: 2008/3/8 2:51 Updated: 2008/3/8 2:51 |
Virgin   Joined: 2007/12/9 From: Posts: 1 |
 More amazing, but more please!
|
|
|
| 1randombeauty |
Posted: 2008/2/29 13:55 Updated: 2008/2/29 13:55 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2007/6/19 From: Posts: 490 |
 very hot, but... that was awesome but dropped too fast. very great - looking forward to part 2.
|
|
|
| ghostwords |
Posted: 2007/10/14 12:07 Updated: 2007/10/14 12:07 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2007/8/8 From: Posts: 234 |
 Ends too abruptly She'd barely started cumming than she was going. Let's follow them home - and
also find out what her husband gets up to back at the party.
|
|
|
| Kismet |
Posted: 2007/10/1 22:39 Updated: 2007/10/1 22:39 |
Virgin   Joined: 2007/6/28 From: United States Posts: 2 |
 Wow! very nice, I love it.
|
|
|
| Starlight |
Posted: 2007/9/7 4:22 Updated: 2007/9/7 4:22 |
Virgin   Joined: 2007/9/5 From: Posts: 7 |
 Marvellous The thing with a lot of these stories is after a while they tend to be cliche,
following an obvious route with only a few small variables. This was something
different, and certainly enjoyable! Thank you, and I really hope there's going
to be a part two :)
|
|
|
| NaughtyRedhead |
Posted: 2007/7/16 14:28 Updated: 2007/7/16 14:28 |
Up and Comer   Joined: 2007/7/13 From: Southern U.S. Posts: 59 |
 OOOH Wow the writing was so descriptive I could picture this whole scenario in my
head...very hot. Eagerly waiting for part 2!!!!
|
|
|
| ukfschap |
Posted: 2007/7/8 20:26 Updated: 2007/7/8 20:26 |
Virgin   Joined: 2005/10/27 From: Posts: 1 |
 great... for starters.. you could write so much more after a great start like this.
|
|
|
| Luv2 |
Posted: 2007/4/15 11:24 Updated: 2007/4/15 11:24 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2007/4/7 From: Luv2... Loves hugging his Jeannie! Posts: 5308 |
 Re: "I Dream of Jeannie" Miro,
“If you think this is good than just you wait Mr Grey,” the thought project
ion entered my head.
Betsy smiled and positioned herself between my legs and licked the head of
my apparently massive cock.
Shouldn't it be > Then ??? and... How can a cock be apparently massive? T
hat cock is either massive like mine? or it's not? :)
Just trying to point out a few errors, as you are quick to do. :)
And.... Sorry, I didn't care for your story. It took too much time to think
.
Jim (No. Calif)
|
|
|
| Luv2 |
Posted: 2007/4/15 10:59 Updated: 2007/4/15 10:59 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2007/4/7 From: Luv2... Loves hugging his Jeannie! Posts: 5308 |
 GnarlyGirl..... YES !! Damn.... I thought I was kinky? :(
Next time, chain Chris up and let 8 or 10 lusty ladies suck him all over, u
ntil he passes out?
"It's Showtime!" YEE HAW
Thanks for the boner :)
Jim (No.Calif)
|
|
|
| Eric |
Posted: 2006/12/26 23:19 Updated: 2006/12/26 23:19 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2006/7/24 From: cyberspace Posts: 2219 |
 Wow This really was interesting and it would be great to do a follow up.
|
|
|
| tom82 |
Posted: 2006/12/17 11:55 Updated: 2006/12/17 11:55 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2006/6/22 From: London, UK Posts: 370 |
 nice lets follwe them home, please!! im begging you....... great sexy story hun
|
|
|
| cabinboy |
Posted: 2006/11/22 2:01 Updated: 2006/11/22 2:01 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2006/1/21 From: Great Britain Posts: 4521 |
 hot and nice well written,
|
|
|
| gnarlygirl |
Posted: 2006/10/16 16:22 Updated: 2006/10/16 16:22 |
Bookworm   Joined: 2006/9/22 From: Florida Posts: 96 |
 Re: Not a good erotic writer... Well maybe I will continue with him later on. I was thinking on writing a part two with the two ladies, and just hasn't got around to it yet. Huggssssss and Kisses.
|
|
|
| gnarlygirl |
Posted: 2006/10/16 16:21 Updated: 2006/10/16 16:21 |
Bookworm   Joined: 2006/9/22 From: Florida Posts: 96 |
 Re: "I Dream of Jeannie" Thanks I missed that. I relay heavily on spellchecker. I have dyslexia and when I'm writing I don't think about grammer, just trying to get the action in my head down. I do go back afterwards and try to read carefully. I guess that's where it's always good to have another party read before submitting they might catch something you missed. Huggsssssss to you.
|
|
|
| Miro |
Posted: 2006/10/16 8:51 Updated: 2006/10/16 8:51 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2006/3/23 From: The Netherworld Posts: 585 |
 "I Dream of Jeannie" Nice story and I know if it was me I would like some feedback I could use so here goes ... a couple of things that you might wanna change due to grammar...What's a dinging door? Hinging door perhaps? Nodded no? How on earth do you do that? Shake your head no, nod your head yes. Other than that it was quite well written, sexy and a bit disturbing (which was the point of course;D) so you should definitely continue as Romano Giovanni suggested. Keep it up!
|
|
|
| Romano Giovanni |
Posted: 2006/10/15 23:22 Updated: 2006/10/15 23:22 |
Virgin   Joined: 2006/10/13 From: I travel a lot. Posts: 17 |
 Re: Not a good erotic writer... I am not that good of an erotic writer. It's just not my genre. I've dabbled, but it jsut starts to feel silly as I read what I'm writing. It's strange because I can read the same thing from someone else and be turned on by it, but if I wrote it, it just seems silly to me!
|
|
|
| gnarlygirl |
Posted: 2006/10/15 21:39 Updated: 2006/10/15 21:39 |
Bookworm   Joined: 2006/9/22 From: Florida Posts: 96 |
 Re: You need to make this into a serial! Huggsssssssss you can write me a nick steele story to add to my collection and show me how it's done.
|
|
|
| Romano Giovanni |
Posted: 2006/10/15 20:32 Updated: 2006/10/15 20:32 |
Virgin   Joined: 2006/10/13 From: I travel a lot. Posts: 17 |
 You need to make this into a serial! From the beginning with the I Dream Of Genie costume to the amazing scene down the private driveway, and the sexually charged orgy in the basement complete with dungeon chains and black satin sheets, this story had me at the edge of my seat reading, searching, begging for more! If I wasn't on the visible side of the library I think I'd have cum twice by the time that one was over!
On top of the quality of the material, you have easily set yourself up for further adventures of Nick Steele and his interesting array of employees and associates. I really do hope that you make this into a serial!
On a critical note, I have noticed that your stories tend to have the same or very similar simile and metaphore in them ie: tongues dueling, to cite just one example. I know that happens because it happnes to me, but it brings a sort of repitition that I personally try to avoid...though often with limited success. It still works though, because each story stands on its own and isn't really affected by the others unless they are all read soon after each other.
I liked it a LOT! Several stars for you...like 20!
|
|
|
| brad |
Posted: 2006/10/5 8:03 Updated: 2006/10/5 8:03 |
Lusty Librarian's Pet   Joined: 2006/4/29 From: Posts: 193 |
 nice more more more but very nice
|
|
|