| Straight: True Stories: A Difficult Situation pt. 1 (1/5) |
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It was a cold, Wednesday night and I was fooling around on the computer, talking to a few people here and there on Yahoo and Msn. A familiar Yahoo messenger window popped up, a male friend named Dustin that went to my high school. He said: Janel, for real, I need some form of relief. That isn’t caused by me. I hesitated as I sat there, staring at what he kept saying. I don’t know. A make-out, a hand job, let me finger, just be touchy… Still, I stared at the screen of my computer, blinking rapidly. For a few seconds, I kept thinking: He knows I can’t, but more asking popped up. Can you at lunch? ‘Cause if you can, we can find us a small spot people won’t be at… I started to feel myself giving in by the time he said something about staying after school. What am I doing? I thought, scratching at my head. I watched a few more things pop up on the conversation. Wanna have sex? I won’t be breaking anything you said you haven’t broken… Finally, I stretched and wiggled at my small, boney fingers, moving over to the keyboard. How am I supposed to know if I broke it or not? It could still be there…I don't wanna huuuurt… It won’t hurt… much… Just slightly at first, but it'll feel great. Much… I sat back, sighing in frustration. I didn’t know now. We may have been two eighteen-year-olds, but that didn’t mean we’d lost our virginity like most out there. I still had mine, and he still had his… At least I hoped he still had his virginity, because I wasn’t going to do this without taking something of his either. We can both stay after school tomorrow. D-hall lasts till 4:30. Most students that would hinder us are gone by 3:35-4:00. So I’m guessing we could go to a number of places. I suppose, so I'll tell my parents to come pick me up either at 4:30 or before. Crap… why did I type that? I cringed a little as I sat there, uncertain. We need to be ready for foreplay. And you aren’t going to chicken out on me, right? The second I read the last part of chickening out, something struck me and I ended up agreeing. It’s not like I hated being called a chicken or anything, but I liked a challenge. And I’d never really gotten anything like this in a while. I went offline and started pacing, heart racing every now and then. Later on, I ended up calming myself and going through my closet. I bathed, too, just in case I wouldn’t chicken out. But, it wasn’t him that was making me do this. It was my decision, not his words. So if anyone happens to find out about it, then it’s all my choice, not his… I went to bed after the bath, a little dazed, but I managed. On Thursday morning, I got dressed in accessible clothing for him, especially my pants. He apparently didn’t want me wearing jeans for it being so risky. Minutes later, I was dressed, standing around in my room, |
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Hmmm
